Social Intelligence

What's up! It's hide.

I want to discuss something that I feel isn't talked about enough. I mean, we talk about good openers, sexual escalation and all that fancy-sounding (and feeling) stuff but I realise that not a lot is said on Social Intelligence. I strongly believe that a good amount of Social Intelligence can actually take a person pretty far.

The following post is a post I did for Troy Dizon Enterprizes.

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Social Intelligence - Anti-Creep Advice!

What's up! It's the non-X-men Xavier.

I want to write about Social Intelligence. I believe that being good with people will definitely skyrocket a person's success in terms of business, lifestyle and relationships!

Social Intelligence to me, in it's rawest form, is what dictates the way i behave in social situations based on an accumulation of my different social experiences. Social experiences from the past, or from a scene in a movie that i find believable, a part of a story, dream, fantasy etc. Social intelligence is important to me because i think that with adequate social intelligence, rarely will i find myself being refered to as "Weird" or "Steven Lim". People will like me more and my Facebook friends list will grow... if that's your thing.

I am sure you have met/seen/heard of someone with poor social intelligence before. This person tends to talk too loudly/softly, says very inappropriate or out of point stuff during interactions, is blunt in an (unintentional) offensive way, "Try-Hard" etc. I remember when I was younger, I was brought up in a very sheltered environment and often spoke in a way that was arrogant and brash. I think if i was a superhero, I'd be "Egoboy" and I'll fly around crime scenes in a big, red and yellow DHL Hot-Air balloon. So after pissing a legion of people off and learning from experiences, Im glad to say that Im not "Egoboy" standard anymore.

So how do I become more socially-savvy?

I have some suggestions :

1) SOCIALISE
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Look, reading a hundred books, watching a thousand DVDs and going for a million courses can do a lot for you but at the end of the day, I believe that EXPERIENCE IS KING! Go out there and gain experiences, don't be afraid to make mistakes! Believe me, no one was born or is perfect, I know I've screwed up in social situations more often than I would've liked. In fact, some people might comment that I'm a weirdo right now haha but it's cool, I have people who think otherwise as well! Gain the experiences, analyze the feedback and come back STRONGER!

Here's a scenario :

Pilot A has read a hundred books and seen movies and photo albums of a million flights. He knows every single detail, basic and advanced, when it comes to flying a plane and he even knows the plane's favourite brand of jet fuel. But he still hasn't flown a plane before in his life.

Pilot B has had minimal training and knowledge on how to fly a plane but he has successfully flown a plane a 100 times in his life.

Which pilot would you choose to fly your plane? If you chose A, I think you must be an adventurer, just remember to bring a parachute and double check your insurance policies.

Think back about when you were a kid. We all knew from our parents, books and videos that fire burns. But it took us a huge bolt of pain, seared skin and tears to actually GET IT.

So, go out there and socialise your way to a socially-savvy self!

2) Hang out with Socially-Intelligent people
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One thing I would strongly recommend is to find a mentor. I know, it's pretty hard work to have to break things down to the nitty gritty details but if my experiences are to be believed, having a good mentor to model after really cuts your learning curve by a significant amount!

Also, as human beings, we are strongly influenced by the people around us. It's just like how a person usually has friends who are just like them. Like attracts Like! I remember not too long ago when my life was pretty stale. My best friends were from 6 years ago and my newest friend was my 1 year-old PSP. I had the good fortune of meeting a few driven and socially-savvy people and suddenly, my life doesn't seem like Times New Roman font anymore.

So, hang around some cool people and you will naturally be influenced by them!

3) Appreciation
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I think a person can never go wrong with this. I mean, besides Emily Rose, who would reject good feelings? It's like giving me some chocolate. I would hate you.

Just kidding, I'd wanna make babies with you (applies to women only :P)

Find out something cool about the person and give them a compliment about it.

Xavier : So what are you good at?

xxx : I am good at blah blah blah, blah blah blah.

Xavier : Wow, that's impressive. i respect you :) (make sure you mean it!)

The fact is, PEOPLE LIKE PEOPLE WHO LIKE THEM!

There you go!

As far as I'm concerned, i think being socially intelligent is a really wonderful trait to hone. When it comes to networking and a social life, being socially intelligent really helped me to meet some awesome friends, lovers and mentors who have played a monumental role in my life.

Find some cool people and start hanging out! Not just friends and old friends, STRANGERS as well!

Go get em, rockstar!

Live and Love,
Xavier

Become socially intelligent today!
Get in touch with me at xavier@troydizon.com .
http://www.troydizon.com/