Social Intelligence

What's up! It's hide.

I want to discuss something that I feel isn't talked about enough. I mean, we talk about good openers, sexual escalation and all that fancy-sounding (and feeling) stuff but I realise that not a lot is said on Social Intelligence. I strongly believe that a good amount of Social Intelligence can actually take a person pretty far.

The following post is a post I did for Troy Dizon Enterprizes.

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Social Intelligence - Anti-Creep Advice!

What's up! It's the non-X-men Xavier.

I want to write about Social Intelligence. I believe that being good with people will definitely skyrocket a person's success in terms of business, lifestyle and relationships!

Social Intelligence to me, in it's rawest form, is what dictates the way i behave in social situations based on an accumulation of my different social experiences. Social experiences from the past, or from a scene in a movie that i find believable, a part of a story, dream, fantasy etc. Social intelligence is important to me because i think that with adequate social intelligence, rarely will i find myself being refered to as "Weird" or "Steven Lim". People will like me more and my Facebook friends list will grow... if that's your thing.

I am sure you have met/seen/heard of someone with poor social intelligence before. This person tends to talk too loudly/softly, says very inappropriate or out of point stuff during interactions, is blunt in an (unintentional) offensive way, "Try-Hard" etc. I remember when I was younger, I was brought up in a very sheltered environment and often spoke in a way that was arrogant and brash. I think if i was a superhero, I'd be "Egoboy" and I'll fly around crime scenes in a big, red and yellow DHL Hot-Air balloon. So after pissing a legion of people off and learning from experiences, Im glad to say that Im not "Egoboy" standard anymore.

So how do I become more socially-savvy?

I have some suggestions :

1) SOCIALISE
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Look, reading a hundred books, watching a thousand DVDs and going for a million courses can do a lot for you but at the end of the day, I believe that EXPERIENCE IS KING! Go out there and gain experiences, don't be afraid to make mistakes! Believe me, no one was born or is perfect, I know I've screwed up in social situations more often than I would've liked. In fact, some people might comment that I'm a weirdo right now haha but it's cool, I have people who think otherwise as well! Gain the experiences, analyze the feedback and come back STRONGER!

Here's a scenario :

Pilot A has read a hundred books and seen movies and photo albums of a million flights. He knows every single detail, basic and advanced, when it comes to flying a plane and he even knows the plane's favourite brand of jet fuel. But he still hasn't flown a plane before in his life.

Pilot B has had minimal training and knowledge on how to fly a plane but he has successfully flown a plane a 100 times in his life.

Which pilot would you choose to fly your plane? If you chose A, I think you must be an adventurer, just remember to bring a parachute and double check your insurance policies.

Think back about when you were a kid. We all knew from our parents, books and videos that fire burns. But it took us a huge bolt of pain, seared skin and tears to actually GET IT.

So, go out there and socialise your way to a socially-savvy self!

2) Hang out with Socially-Intelligent people
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One thing I would strongly recommend is to find a mentor. I know, it's pretty hard work to have to break things down to the nitty gritty details but if my experiences are to be believed, having a good mentor to model after really cuts your learning curve by a significant amount!

Also, as human beings, we are strongly influenced by the people around us. It's just like how a person usually has friends who are just like them. Like attracts Like! I remember not too long ago when my life was pretty stale. My best friends were from 6 years ago and my newest friend was my 1 year-old PSP. I had the good fortune of meeting a few driven and socially-savvy people and suddenly, my life doesn't seem like Times New Roman font anymore.

So, hang around some cool people and you will naturally be influenced by them!

3) Appreciation
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I think a person can never go wrong with this. I mean, besides Emily Rose, who would reject good feelings? It's like giving me some chocolate. I would hate you.

Just kidding, I'd wanna make babies with you (applies to women only :P)

Find out something cool about the person and give them a compliment about it.

Xavier : So what are you good at?

xxx : I am good at blah blah blah, blah blah blah.

Xavier : Wow, that's impressive. i respect you :) (make sure you mean it!)

The fact is, PEOPLE LIKE PEOPLE WHO LIKE THEM!

There you go!

As far as I'm concerned, i think being socially intelligent is a really wonderful trait to hone. When it comes to networking and a social life, being socially intelligent really helped me to meet some awesome friends, lovers and mentors who have played a monumental role in my life.

Find some cool people and start hanging out! Not just friends and old friends, STRANGERS as well!

Go get em, rockstar!

Live and Love,
Xavier

Become socially intelligent today!
Get in touch with me at xavier@troydizon.com .
http://www.troydizon.com/

Being REAL over being SMOOTH!

"you've gotta be smoother than that boy." i laughed, what a snazzy bitch, i thought. i never would've expected her to say this.

not when i opened her with possibly the most unconventional opener i've ever used. in the midst of disarming Psyche from Josh's set (haha that was funny!), i glanced over my shoulder and saw this girl HBV checking me out. i was hiding from this other chick HBtall because i didn't want her to think im orbiting since she had "eyes" all over the place. I turned back to Psyche and talked a lil more. I glanced over my shoulder again and i see HBV looking over at me again. "that's it, she looks over at me again im gonna nail this chick tonight!" so i turn back to psyche and talked a lil more. i turned around once more and faced her completely this time. she gave me a quick glance and turned away when she realised that i was locked onto her. 100% COMMITMENT, the vibe of a CHAMPION.

i took 3 steps and she was about 8 steps away from me. she was at the lower bar of zouk and i was at the walkway that lead to the bar from the entrance. i squatted down and stared straight at her, eyebrow raised and with my "whats up?!?!" face. she laughs. i raise my index finger at her and threw out my opener. "i think i know you." i drop the time-stopping VACUUM and sucked her in.

she left her set of 5 friends and walked over to me. she thinks for a while and before she speaks and i interupt by saying, "gimme a huggg! it's been a while!!!" we hug and i hold her in my arms.

hide : honestly, i actually don't know you. =P

HBV : omg and i was actually embarassed that i forgot about you!

hide : haha okay, allow me to introduce myself. im hide.

HBV : im HBV.


"I" perspectives
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we got into a 20 minute interaction and she said he had to go meet her friends. i let her go but i knew i was in already. she had invested and revealed enough of herself for me to SOI like a SOI howitzer. So i joined the rest of the boys, ran into the pageant queen at the main entrance and turns out that she's an ex-girlfriend of one of my homies, so i got major social proof for congratulating her and just being seen talking to her. along the night, i met one more pageant girl who was a girl i met during daygame and she introduced me to another contestant.

i roll with Psyche Bond and we make our way to a corner to make out... i mean, finish his drink. as we were talking, i get a text from HBV. i said i was gonna go at 12 and she texted me at 11:55 asking me to dance. Psyche, thanks man, i felt bad to leave you alone but im glad u were cool about it. so off i went, no replies because i didnt wanna waste 5cents on an sms.

i roll onto the dancefloor, with the "IM A LION" mindset and stare down every body who made eye contact. non-verbal open on a HB8 and did the standard Troy dance off. i watched the HB8 do her thing and gave her a hug for being such a sport. I took a quick glance and i saw HBV in my line of sight. i knew she saw what happened. i motioned for HBV to come over and she ditched her group again and we're dancing. things get heated up as HBV burned the dance floor. the guys who were trying to get her attention are mesmerised. im soaking in this shit. SOI. boom, we're grinding like gears in a clock. im kissing her and biting her on her neck and shoulders like she was an oreo cheesecake. she smelt and tasted good. hide pulls a DQ+SOI+sexual barrier for the win.

hide : dancing with you sucks!

HBV : what?? why?!

hide : because ure a great dancer and you make me look like i can't dance!

HBV : come on, im sure u can! hide : well i do know this one move.

HBV : alright, what is it?

hide : well, it involves your lips and mine.

HBV: "you've gotta be smoother than that boy." i laughed, what a snazzy bitch, i thought.

so we dance some more and i find out that she might have forgotten to wear a bra. "What kinda devil doesn't wear a bra to a club?" she laughs. "i have to tame you!" so i tame her with a bite on her left ear. she moans and summons the caveman in me. i turn her around and drop the FOCUS BUBBLE.

*hands holding her head*

hide: "HBV... i think you are too sexy not to make out with."

hungry-eyes, triangular gazes and raw vibe, we kiss and i get tongued down like i was a goodwood park hotel mooncake. i push her away after 3 seconds and tell her that i didn't wanna start a fire. the sexual tension was electrifying. the 4 caucasian dudes who were watching this started tapping me on my back. i was the man of the moment. no more free entertainment boys, ISOLATION TIME!

i pull her to the side and made out with her some more. i pull sexual barriers left, right, centre and started to iron out the logistics. i asked her who she was with and just then, her friends smsed her and she wanted to go meet them. time for SOCIAL COMMITMENT.

we roll out to meet her friends, her clinging onto me like i was life-support. man, major shit-testing and amogging here. i wish i had a wing for this. but true value beats false displays of alphaness and i get no. closed by the 2 guys. the other chick in the group was cute and i made a mental note to get to know this girl a little better. HBV tests my neediness throwing in hooks everyone once in a while while i talked to her friends. this is going no where, i made a quick logsitical assessment and decide that im gonna leave this battle and come back with reinforcements next time! i excuse myself with grace and went back to my boys.

Thanks for reading!

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